Now that I have had time to breathe in all the consequences, I am not willing and desiring to define my position admist my present and where I stand. Hence, the greater will in my consequences reaps from my desire to finally seek satisfaction in self-defination and in search of circumstances which shall continue to define my becoming until change wavers my life's consistency of happiness, no doubt. That is where it begins. And begins again from all that I know. I recieved a reminder from Allah yesterday about an honest consideration from and of all that is to become in my life and then strengthen in its own power to conquer me until I've known no greater reality than the one in my view at confrontation now to my very own self!
Also, the reason why I and some people pull back when success is near enough to grasp is because of their lack of habbit of hardwork and of the fact that they want it without effort of limitations to reap desired results.
Crux of the matter is that I can not undefine my efforts or progress of all these years. The fact that I've grown and matured from what I was at a very early age can not be compromised on.
Acceptability with honesty is a rewarding virtue to (own) moral values and characterisation of a man. It is a rarity, not to mention a quality maintained by the greatest in history.
Change is acceptable when there are no choices considerable. But if self is not to be compromised on, then reception reaps all results and arbituary circumstances. One's life is not a compromise of self but of evolving, growing and developing into more. Our character defines us and so when we are left undefined by circumstances or indecsiveness, it keeps us raw at bay. Human spirit weakens when it does not know how to be happy or when to be sad.
If I will compromise, then is the reward even worth to die for? My choices define the strength of acceptability in my idea of quality, and my ideals reminscented. Why shall thou break the strength in me evolved and developed, formed and bloomed, gathered and empowered, sowed and reaped, discovered and conquered, examined and finally conceptualized!
When no one can provide me what I seek but God's blessings and consentful mercies, then why must I settle for something else transcient and unworthy? This is years of effort in trial and error and in sadness such that led me to insanity adn lonliness such that it nearly made me suicidial.. sigh. How shall I even begin to define the attraction in the superficiality I seem to be/have desired as I was crept away at my own will in disloyalty at the hand of my own spiritual weakness. My weaknesses, my loyalty, my honesty places at my hand the sacrifice of false temptations from the sight of truth.
Well, clearly if the false was the truth wouldn't everyone be convinced by it?? No.. They won't be. It does not promise one/(human) the seed of bliss and content such that it is heavenly, gratified by the desire, the needful temptation to glorify our eternal tomorrow.
Luck seems to follow the truth in words, and blessings uncountable continue to envelope the true nature of human nature unless we are not defeated enough to desire falseness in our lives and depressingly glorify ourselves in the unworthiness of our own conceptual ideals temporarily hovering about us. They are indeed an ill-founded distraction...